Hard Things...
Those few days that I don't feel so great, I do a lot of thinking.
I've continued my study on Faith, listened to my favorite speaker Gene R. Cook on Faith. I seem to question or review with myself, how strong is my Faith, am I doubting, do I not deserve to feel better, am I not exercizing enough Faith? It's my Faith meter, thinking and asking myself questions. Here are some of my thoughts...
Because when I knew it was time to start chemo, that is where I was focusing my faith, in that Heavenly Father can strengthen me, that I can make it through the hard chemo, and not get sick and check out of life for a week. He can move mountains. He can strengthen me. My Mom & Dad came to help me, and I was talking with my Dad, during one of the bad days, at this point the pain in my joints, legs, hands, feet were pretty bad. This is the thought that came to me in our discussion... Heavenly Father is asking Me to do something (Hard), It wouldn't be hard, if it was easy. I had to question, what am I asking in Faith for? I did receive strength, I was not as sick as last time, I didn't have some of the really bad side effects as last time, it didn't last as long as last time. Do I want Him to take it all away? No. He is making it easier, but He still asking me to do something Hard. Hard in the way that He is teaching me, teaching my family, my husband the things we need to learn. I don't want to trade Him taking the "Hard" stuff away and Us not learning along the way. Such are trials, they are hard.
Our Heavenly Father sent an angel to comfort Jesus Christ in Gethsemane during such a "Hard" experience. I too have felt him lighten my burdens and strengten me during this hard experience. I know He love me!